BorehamBlog

Went out to the Swinley Forest today with Buffy, my 2nd daughter who has a new bike. I was not expecting very much as its really muddy there at this time of year and it takes a lot of confidence to cycle on swoopy trails with 4inches of slime on them.

But, I must give her credit- she did really well, fell off less than I did and was almost as quick up the hills. All I need to do is get her into it cycling in a big way, win a few championships and I’ll be able to retire on her earnings…

She also took this picture of me

Mr Gilles Leroy, herbalist, leaf picker and retired cocktail waitress of the Leatherhead vicinity today saved cyclist Stuart Boreham from almost certain slight cold (or ‘death’ as the Daily Express would put it) after the hapless adventurer exploded his back tyre (or ‘tire’ as the New York Post would put it) nearly 4 miles from civilisation on Leith Hill in Surrey.
What began as a friendly biking jaunt into the woods with some friends at 6.45am soon turned into a life and death situation as 41 year old phonographer Mr Boream (aged 3 found he was unable to effect a repair and complained of feeling ‘a bit parky’ as the rain began to fall.

Mr Leroy (pronounced ‘Leroy’) suggested an ancient remedy of stuffing leaves into the tyre using time honoured French methods. To his great satisfaction, this enabled Mr Boneham, 43, wearing a muddy blue jacket, matching filthy shorts and a silver helmet made from sheepgut, to almost cycle a further 300 yards without incident.

Mr Leroy (27) was later hear to say ‘You English never listen to anything we say - no wonder we gave you such a beating at Waterloo’ before moving off to help police with their enquiries. His later attempts to rescue Mr Buttman, 56, wearing a light blue dress with matching stilleto heels, by driving around the Surrey lanes in his car until Leroy found him, were much appreciated and Leroy’s sentance has been reduced to life with time off for good behaviour.

 
The failed Leroy Leafy Tyre Boot in all its hideous glory.

I went out for a spin on my road bike this morning and after struggling up the 2 biggest hills in the district without being ill, was feeling quite proud of myself. At the top of the second hill, the lane in Windsor where Elton John lives, a huge groups of cyclist went by in the opposite direction, so I thought ‘what the heck..’ and tagged on to the end, without an idea of who they were or where they were going.

It was such fun! In a big groups you get shielded from the wind so it makes life easier and you can bowl along at a cracking pace with much less effort than when on your own. It was like being in the Tour de France, like looking out of the window of a train on a bend with all the bikes spread out in front of me. I did not have the courage to take a shot whilst riding, more’s the pity.

Turns out the group was these guys http://www.hounslowanddistrictwheelers.co.uk/ out for their Sunday jaunt. Next time I have a Sunday free (2007 perhaps..) I’ll go all the way with them.