What’s the Matter?

February 14, 2006 at 3:33 pm | In Commercial, Life, Uncategorized | No Comments

Off to Liverpool yesterday to photograph part of a project called ATLAS. To cut a long story short, its a massive particle accelerator that some pople have been working on for 20 years that is going to be buried in the ground in Geneva and record particle collisions at speeds never before undertaken. The data amassed each day will fill a mile high stack on un-boxed CD’s and from this we will be able to discover the meaning of life.

The whole project is actually an attempt to find dark matter. There is a big hole (a black hole!?) in the most popular model of how the ‘big bang’ happened, seeing as how the sums don’t add up properly. To make them work, scientists have invented a particle, so called ‘God Particle’ that if it exists will make all things lovely and bring world peace amongst the scientific community. This project is an attempt to find the particle. If it does not exist then they will have to think again, probably quite hard, but I was told they are fairly confident on finding out something interesting whatever happens.

In my experience, one does not need the $4 billion that this project has cost to find God, but what do I know? Regardless, its all very interesting and what I did discover is that we only know about 6% of the properties of the universe and that, in the words of the leading professor on this project, is not very much at all. So, to those of you who are concerned or even relieved that Science has Disproved God - don’t be so sure!

The Axe-man Cometh

February 7, 2006 at 7:40 pm | In Life, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Today I bought an Axe, and a Dads Army DVD.

Purchasing the axe is a trial due to the problem with my pin numbers I shall relate shortly on this very site. Thats why I ended up buying the Dad’s Army disk because we had to wait so long for the card to authorise that I went down the road to browse in Woolies for fear that I would end up using the axe in an unpleasant way on the shop assistant.

Axing is hard work! Some of the wood is like iron and my ears are still ringing from the ‘thwack’ as the axe hit the wood. Anyway, its great fun and I have now created a wheelbarrow full of chopped wood.

We don’t have anything to do with it mind, but it was very theraputic and the axe cost less than the DVD. You can see my substantial ‘bread belly’ in these fine shots taken by my wife just before the unfortunate accident.

 

Fresh Bread!

February 7, 2006 at 7:25 pm | In Life, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

We recently bought a breadmaker. I was so incensed by the quality of the bread rolls that our kids eat, the kind of thing that immediately turns to mushy pap as soon as it enters your mouth, with a salt, sugar and fat content that has to be seen to be believed, that we went out and bought a machine to make it ourselves. The upside is great bread! The downside is too much great bread! I now weigh 160 killos and am surviving on a staple diet of…. welll, you can guess.

Here is Ruth enjoying a nibble. Look what one mouthful has done to the poor kid.

The Language of Wales

January 21, 2006 at 2:35 pm | In Life, Uncategorized | No Comments

Just overheard this on the BBC 24hour Wales channel that has been broadcasting live footage of a lost 18ft whale non stop for the last 2 days whilst ignoring the fact that 5million people in the horn of Africa are facing immediate stavation through famine (but who cares about that? - whales are cuter)

Newsreader (running out of something new to say) : Biology expert, can you just give us an idea of what the people next to the whale might be doing, what they might be saying to it to calm it down?

Biology Expert: Well, I’m afraid I don’t know what on earth you are talking about Peter because no one I know speaks the language of whales.

Its called Welsh, isn’t it?

KIDZKLUB!!

January 21, 2006 at 2:34 pm | In Life, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

We had our monthly kidzklub this morning. Its an event run by our church that has about 80 kids com. We play stupid games, muck about with porridge and water pistol’s dance, sing and teach about good ways for kids to live their life and tell them about Jesus.

Its hard work and today I was half asleep and made some huge mess-ups, but it did not really matter and everyone had a great time. Its a bit like saturday morning kid’s TV performed live with a budget of 60p. Considering everything its a really great show.

The event has made an impact in getting the profile of the church raised within the community and we have been able to pray with a number of families. All part of the bigger picture of letting people know there is some good news out there.

Cyclist Saved by Magic Leaves

January 20, 2006 at 3:56 pm | In Biking, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Mr Gilles Leroy, herbalist, leaf picker and retired cocktail waitress of the Leatherhead vicinity today saved cyclist Stuart Boreham from almost certain slight cold (or ‘death’ as the Daily Express would put it) after the hapless adventurer exploded his back tyre (or ‘tire’ as the New York Post would put it) nearly 4 miles from civilisation on Leith Hill in Surrey.
What began as a friendly biking jaunt into the woods with some friends at 6.45am soon turned into a life and death situation as 41 year old phonographer Mr Boream (aged 3 8) found he was unable to effect a repair and complained of feeling ‘a bit parky’ as the rain began to fall.

Mr Leroy (pronounced ‘Leroy’) suggested an ancient remedy of stuffing leaves into the tyre using time honoured French methods. To his great satisfaction, this enabled Mr Boneham, 43, wearing a muddy blue jacket, matching filthy shorts and a silver helmet made from sheepgut, to almost cycle a further 300 yards without incident.

Mr Leroy (27) was later hear to say ‘You English never listen to anything we say - no wonder we gave you such a beating at Waterloo’ before moving off to help police with their enquiries. His later attempts to rescue Mr Buttman, 56, wearing a light blue dress with matching stilleto heels, by driving around the Surrey lanes in his car until Leroy found him, were much appreciated and Leroy’s sentance has been reduced to life with time off for good behaviour.

 
The failed Leroy Leafy Tyre Boot in all its hideous glory.

Today, I ‘ars been mostly photographin’ Frozen Chicken Products.

January 19, 2006 at 8:07 pm | In Commercial, Uncategorized | No Comments

Mexican chicken, popcorn chicken, corn beef hash, pork and apple Rostis, southern fried Poppas – the list is endless, or so it seems at the moment whilst we are still shooting and I’ve been at it for 6 hours. Still, you get to eat the leftovers which is great.

I’m working for Imagefarm, a company where an mate of mine, Brian Benford, is the food designer and product ‘initiator’. He and his wife Angela have come up with some brilliant ideas.

I was amazed when they showed me the food production. Here wheelie-bins full of chicken frozen chicken from Thailand or fresh chicken from Holland are processed with industrial efficiency using such equipment as ‘blast freezers’ - rooms bigger than our living space that run at minus 40 degrees centigrade. The final products look like they have been lovingly handcrafted by your granny in Devon but are in fact turned out in batches if 10,000 by Brian and his co-workers on an industrial estate in Wembley at incredibly low price points.

Le Peloton

January 15, 2006 at 12:20 pm | In Biking, Uncategorized | No Comments

I went out for a spin on my road bike this morning and after struggling up the 2 biggest hills in the district without being ill, was feeling quite proud of myself. At the top of the second hill, the lane in Windsor where Elton John lives, a huge groups of cyclist went by in the opposite direction, so I thought ‘what the heck..’ and tagged on to the end, without an idea of who they were or where they were going.

It was such fun! In a big groups you get shielded from the wind so it makes life easier and you can bowl along at a cracking pace with much less effort than when on your own. It was like being in the Tour de France, like looking out of the window of a train on a bend with all the bikes spread out in front of me. I did not have the courage to take a shot whilst riding, more’s the pity.

Turns out the group was these guys http://www.hounslowanddistrictwheelers.co.uk/ out for their Sunday jaunt. Next time I have a Sunday free (2007 perhaps..) I’ll go all the way with them.

The World Of Plumbing

January 13, 2006 at 4:24 pm | In Commercial, Uncategorized | No Comments

I spent the moring on Wednesday in a plumbing emporium. Not handling the taps and turning the valves but shooting the new MD and some of his water retaining produce.

Much of this was done with my www.Lumedyne.com  battery lights that I love and have revolutionised my work. Tons of power- anywhere you want it. So I was able to get studio quality lighting in the rainy car park in Woolwich.

The hairy fella making a furtive exit clutching a shower head is me, snapped by the store mamager who had already been in too many pictures himself. Must get a haircut… and some better trousers..and some new shoes….

 

More Corporates

January 13, 2006 at 3:57 pm | In Commercial, Uncategorized | No Comments

This was another fun shoot - pictures of all the spokespeople from an international IT company. A great location with lots of places to use as backgounds and lots of natural light- it makes life easier for both the shooter and the subject.

I love this kind of work - a chance to talk to people and find out what makes them tick. The guy bottom right lives round the corner from Hugo and Sharon who run the charity I work with in Africa, and knew them quite well. How bizarre is that!?

 

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